I have a New Years resolution for you.
This goes double if the holidays were a strain on your:
Waistlines (c’mon, I can’t be the only one who eats sugar cookies for breakfast Christmas week?!).
When we have so much coming at us in our free time, plus work, it wears down our ability to make good choices for ourselves.
Our boundaries get wonky.
Overwhelm arrives. And with overwhelm comes drama, reactivity, and loads of poor self-care choices. Cue exhaustion.
So as you move into 2019, here’s one simple way you can repeatedly steer yourself away from overwhelm.
Every time you are faced with a choice, pause and ask yourself:
Is this energizing or draining?
Sometimes we have to do stuff that drains us. That’s life.
But loads of times we do things we don’t really want to do because we’re telling ourselves we “should” do them. That drains us.
- I should go to the gym 5 days a week because that’s what a good New Year’s resolution looks like.
- I should accept that dinner invite because I’m a nice person and that’s what nice people do.
- I should let my friends bring their dogs over to my house, because my dog should be able to handle having canine guests and because I should be polite.
Imagine if, before you answered these requests, you paused and asked yourself: does this feel energizing for me or does it feel draining?
If it feels draining, can you give yourself permission to say NO?
Instead, can you say HELL YES to spending your limited resources on what you actually need right now? Or what authentically feels good?
If so, would you choose resting instead of running? Or a peaceful visit with friends instead of a dog fight over dinner?
I did this earlier in the week when I kept pushing myself to meditate. Why all the resistance I wondered?
Then I asked myself: If I’m being honest with myself, does meditating feel energizing or draining right now? The clearest answer came back: draining!
What would feel energizing I asked? Taking a pottery class instead.
You can back away from the edge of overwhelm by pausing before you automatically agree to requests from other people.
You can back away from exhaustion by asking yourself if what you’re about to make yourself do energizes or drains you.
If it feels draining and you’re leaning towards doing it anyway, ask yourself:
If you knew that no one would ever judge you for saying NO, would you still say YES?
You have a right to choose what works for you.
That might mean going against the grain of what other people expect you to do for them or what our cultural says “good people” who have their shit together do.
Make your resolutions work for you.
Lean towards what naturally sparks your energy. It doesn’t always have to be so hard, you know?
Cheers to an energizing 2019!