Uncategorized

2021 Word of the Year: Reverence

Do you have a word of the year (WOTY)? WOTY is a word or a short phrase that serves as an intention for the year to come. 

For me, WOTY is 1000% more helpful than New Year’s resolutions. It’s serve as my compass for how I want to live my life for the next 12 months. 

Here are some of the words I’ve chosen in the past:

2020: Deliberate
2019: n/a
2018: Ease and Receive
2017: Joyful Responsibility
2016: Full
2015: Integrate

Looking back on 2020, DELIBERATE turned out to be a tough, but helpful WOTY. I started off the year making very intentional, non-reactive choices about how I spent my time.

Enter COVID.

The pandemic slammed me into reactive mode, busy in the extreme, struggling to be deliberate and consistent in caring for myself.

But it turned out that just knowing my WOTY was DELIBERATE helped, because it kept me honest about how unintentional I was being each day.

That awareness helped me to re-assess and, eventually, to pump the brakes on the runaway car that was my work life. I was able to end the year with a return to a more deliberate approach.

Some of you may remember that I took 30 days off of social media in January 2020.

This January, I left completely (more on that coming soon!).

The choice to leave social media personally and professionally was the result of my WOTY – my intention to live a more deliberate life.

Which brings us to 2021.

I was looking for a word that would capture my desire to be fully present with and grateful for the animals and people I love, to feel satisfied with what I have and what I can do, to care deeply for my body and the land I live on, and to not miss out on the beauty of being alive because of my tendency towards perpetual busy-ness.

That’s a lot to ask of one word!

It took me a week and then, on New Year’s Day REVERENCE popped into my head.

Reverence means to have profound respect, mingled with love, devotion, or awe.

Yep, that’s the one. 

So I asked myself: What does reverence look like in daily life?

I think it may come down to this: to be reverent is to have radical respect and gratitude for all aspects of life. 

Approaching daily life with reverence requires a certain degree of slowness, simplicity, and openness.

It takes the word DELIBERATE and adds heaps of gratitude and mystery and love.

Some of you may be familiar with Albert Schweitzer’s work with animals and his philosophy of Reverence for Life.

He wrote, “Reverence for Life says that the only thing we are really sure of is that we live and want to go on living. This is something that we share with everything else that lives, from elephants to blades of grass – and of course, every human being. So we are brothers and sisters to all living things, and owe to all of them the same care and respect that we wish for ourselves.”

Rabbi Abraham Heschel gets right to it: “Reverence is a salute of the soul, an awareness of the inherent value of all beings.”

Many of you work with animals and already have a deep reverence for their lives.

But what about your own life?

Do you believe in your own inherent value, apart from what you can produce?

And do you offer yourself the same care and respect you generously give to animals?

I struggle with this and I know that many of you do as well.

That’s why I chose REVERENCE for 2021.

Reverence is my intention to stay connected to what is most meaningful for me, approaching all areas of my life with radical respect, so that I am present with what is sacred.

“Living in a sacred manner means looking upon the ordinary with a mystical eyesight. When seen differently, the common things are soon handled in a different way – with reverence.” – Edward Hays

What would be different if I looked at the everyday parts of my life with reverence? How would I relate differently to:

  • My body, mind, and spirit?
  • My family and friends, human and animal, past and present?
  • The people I have the privilege to work with and care for?
  • The animals, plants, minerals, and water in my yard and around the world?
  • What I consume – from food to information?

How would life be different if I moved at the speed of radical respect and awe?

I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to finding out in 2021!

Because reverence is such a BIG word, I chose a 2nd, more earth-bound, support word for 2021: CONSISTENCY.

For me to live with reverence I need structure, routine, and ritual.

Like many of us, when things are very stressful I tend to drop my most supportive structures – just when I need them most. This immediately takes me out of living with a deep respect for myself (not to mention others), so this year consistency is married to reverence.

What about you? What’s your WOTY?

Whatever word you chose (or don’t!), I’m wishing you a year filled with laughter, health, happiness, and safety.

BIPOC Mental Health Resources (plus, affordable therapy options for all)

Right now, with all that’s happening in our country – including the pandemic, the Black Lives Matter protests, and racial violence – we could all use more support and therapy.

Sadly, therapy is not accessible to everyone who needs it, even those with health insurance.

And not every therapist will create a safe space for BIPOC and LGBTQIA clients, so therapy isn’t always a positive experience.

I believe that everyone who works in a helping profession would benefit from mental health support, so I’ve been gathering a list of more accessible, culturally-sensitive resources to add to the CiB Program. I thought I’d share that here with everyone.

Before I do, I want to acknowledge that all human beings struggle and are exposed to trauma.

But folks who are part of the BIPOC community have distinctly different experiences of racial trauma and systemic oppression that needs to be acknowledged. 

See: What is racial trauma?

Below is a list of affordable mental health options for everyone, as well as some specific resources for BIPOC.

Everyone deserves support. I hope this list makes it a little easier for you to find the support that truly meets your individual needs. 

General resources for affordable support:

7 Cups, free emotional support

Emotional support hotlines (warm lines) directory

General resources for affordable, inclusive therapy:

How to find affordable therapy.

The Open Path Collective, a non-profit that offers reduced cost, inclusive therapy

Ayana an app that connects marginalized and intersectional communities to online mental health help (offers limited free online help for frontline workers during COVID)

Inclusive Therapists directory offers a number of resources for Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, the LGBTQ+ community, neurodivergent people, and people with disabilities

Therapist directories and resources for Black men and women:

The Loveland Foundation offers resources for Black women and girls, including financial assistance for therapy

BEAM: Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective offers a Black virtual therapist directory (for tele-sessions)

Therapy for Black Girls directory

Therapy for Black Men directory

Melanin and Mental Health dope therapist directory

Boris L Henson Foundation therapist directory and free telehealth session

National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network

Looking for more? Check out 44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country for a comprehensive list of resources. 

Tips on how to find an anti-racist therapist from @melaninandmentalhealth:

I’ll be adding these resources to The CiB program, so that they’re a permanent resource going forward. If you know of any resources you’d like to see added to this list, please leave a comment.

I do want to I acknowledge that I am a white, straight, cis-gendered female and it’s not my intention to cause harm to anyone with this post, but if I do – please let me know. I am open to your feedback.

This Question Could Change Your Life

I have a New Years resolution for you.

This goes double if the holidays were a strain on your:
Time
Finances
Energy
Emotions
Relationships
Pets
Waistlines (c’mon, I can’t be the only one who eats sugar cookies for breakfast Christmas week?!).

When we have so much coming at us in our free time, plus work, it wears down our ability to make good choices for ourselves.

Our boundaries get wonky.

Overwhelm arrives. And with overwhelm comes drama, reactivity, and loads of poor self-care choices. Cue exhaustion.

So as you move into 2019, here’s one simple way you can repeatedly steer yourself away from overwhelm.

Every time you are faced with a choice, pause and ask yourself:

Is this energizing or draining?

Sometimes we have to do stuff that drains us. That’s life.  

But loads of times we do things we don’t really want to do because we’re telling ourselves we “should” do them. That drains us.

  • I should go to the gym 5 days a week because that’s what a good New Year’s resolution looks like. 
  • I should accept that dinner invite because I’m a nice person and that’s what nice people do. 
  • I should let my friends bring their dogs over to my house, because my dog should be able to handle having canine guests and because I should be polite. 


Imagine if, before you answered these requests, you paused and asked yourself: does this feel energizing for me or does it feel draining?

If it feels draining, can you give yourself permission to say NO?

Instead, can you say HELL YES to spending your limited resources on what you actually need right now? Or what authentically feels good?

If so, would you choose resting instead of running? Or a peaceful visit with friends instead of a dog fight over dinner?

I did this earlier in the week when I kept pushing myself to meditate. Why all the resistance I wondered?

Then I asked myself: If I’m being honest with myself, does meditating feel energizing or draining right now? The clearest answer came back: draining!

What would feel energizing I asked? Taking a pottery class instead.

OKAY!



You can back away from the edge of overwhelm by pausing before you automatically agree to requests from other people.

You can back away from exhaustion by asking yourself if what you’re about to make yourself do energizes or drains you.

If it feels draining and you’re leaning towards doing it anyway, ask yourself:

If you knew that no one would ever judge you for saying NO, would you still say YES?

You have a right to choose what works for you.

That might mean going against the grain of what other people expect you to do for them or what our cultural says “good people” who have their shit together do.

Make your resolutions work for you.

Lean towards what naturally sparks your energy. It doesn’t always have to be so hard, you know?

Cheers to an energizing 2019!

Gone Creating! Be Back Soon.

 

Not much is happening here, but all kinds of greatness is taking place offline and behind the scenes. I’m building stuff and I can’t wait to share it here as soon as it’s ready-ish.

Here's a bus to look at in the meantime.
Here’s a bus to look at in the meantime.

Be back soon!

High five,

Let's stay connected. Sign up for ideas, updates, and your free copy of The ABCs of Self Care Workbook!